We're less than a minute in and we've seen bad graphics, bad mechanics, terrible sound effects, no context to anything and the villain die. Then the game actually starts with Jake being discharged from a military base ten days easier, with no mention of what we'd previously seen. Out of nowhere a helicopter rises in front of him from a canyon and he jumps over it, freezeframe and the game informs he us we are in fact playing Ride to Hell: Retribution 1%. Suddenly 317 (okay, we later learn his name is Jake) has gone from riding along a main road to the middle of some woods somewhere. Yes, our introduction to the hero and big villain is seeing the former helplessly gunning down the latter. This serves as our introduction to three things: One of the main villains, the dire voice acting and that everyone has the expressive range of Keanu Reeves. He starts to mock the main character, helpfully delivering exposition as he does, before he kills Colt with pop guns bargain bin sound effects and revolvers. Lacking the first names "Rex" and "Power" he's not nearly as fun or awesome as someone with that surname deserves to be. Generic Biker Protagonist 317 is suddenly standing over a man with covered in bright red paint who the subtitles helpfully tell us is named Colt.
You will learn little beyond this during this opening, or the game as a whole. Who is he? What are his goals? What's his name? By this point you have no clue, only that he is driving a Harley to very generic "badass" music and has legs due to the low camera shots. Normally these reviews would begin outlining the story and giving context to the game itself, but instead here's how the game introduces you to its plot, beat for beat:Īfter starting a new game, the first sign of it being poorly constructed no less - immediately reacting as if you already have a save file, you're introduced to the hero. It has Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing degrees of bad ideas, bugs, shoddy programming and sheer laziness and might be the first to honestly be worse than that game.Ībandon all hope ye who enter here, we've just begun the descent into hell.
Ride To Hell: Retribution is the latest in this long line, but it's quite possibly the worst of them all. Special mention also goes to Steel Battalion: Heavy Armour, a good game hamstrung to the point of unplayability by Kinect.
In recent years we've had a slew of these from bare basics shooters seemingly squirted out overnight like Duke Nukem Forever and Aliens: Colonial Marines to the mesmerisingly badly written and poorly programmed turds like Mindjack. Those which had high hype which failed to deliver, those which were obviously rushed and lacked development, or just those which lacked any real talent behind them. Once in a while there are titles people will call the worst video games ever made.
0 kommentar(er)
